Sternberg Love Theory

Background – Esmond and Estella are both 19 years of age and have known each other for 2.5 years. Both of them are currently schooling in Ngee Ann Polytechnic. They met during their Poly Foundation Program year where they were classmates and became best friends soon after. Esmond and Estella eventually started dating a year and eight months later on Esmond’s birthday, the 29th of August and have been together since then.

Triangle Theory of Love
In Sternberg’s Theory of Love, a relationship cannot survive on a single component and every stage has a different combination of intimacy, commitment and passion. Esmond and Estella started out as friends where intimacy was present, and as time went on they gradually became more passionate about each

They keep the intimacy alive by cooking for each other, café hopping and having a picnic by the beach every now and then; spending quality time with one another regardless of place or activity where long conversations can be held. Passion brings a lot of positive energy into relationships and this couple have shown it by trying new things together, creating sweet memories to beat boredom in their relationship. According to Amie M. Gordon, “Researchers have found that trying new things with your partner can help prevent boredom, make you feel closer to your partner, happier with your relationship, and more satisfied with life in general.” (Gordon, 2012). As whether or not there is commitment in their relationship, the couple tend to argue due to minor conflicts, not because they cannot get along with each other but because they care. This instead brings them closer as they learn a little more about each other, and understand the mistakes that was made and what can they do to improve. It has been proven by a research carried

There are many signs that differentiate the two. Being jealous is normal even for the most mature relationship, Esmond understands that and does not let it affect his relationship showing his mature thinking and trust in her. Unlike Estella who does not get jealous at all because she trust that Esmond knows where the line clearly is and abides by her rules. Being in a relationship should not always be focused on the present, but also the future. Esmond and Estella sees a future together, they have made future plans which includes each other showing their long term commitment and dedication to each other. From my past experience, I learnt that a relationship will not last when both parties do not commit themselves to it and just date for the sake of dating, which is a sign of immature love. When there is a need to settle an issue, the platform used also shows how mature the relationship is according to Lauren Martin, “Fighting is natural; texting is not. Mature couples do not spend their days bickering over a screen. When they have something to work out, they do it face to face…” (Martin, 2015). As often as not, Esmond and Estella argued through the phone, either facetiming or texting. This shows me that they have nailed certain aspects of having a mature relationship, however their age can be seen through how they handle their conflicts via messaging and facetiming rather than face to face which is what is commonly done