Summary Of Sex Lies And Conversation Deborah Tannen

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My mom loves to talk. She is always telling stories and just chatting with my dad, but there are times when my dad stops looking at her and she complains because he is not listening. He always tries to argue that he is, and Deborah Tannen’s essay “Sex, Lies, and Conversation,” proves his point. Men and women have very different methods of conversation, and it is evident when they try to talk to each other. Tannen shares how many studies prove that women can talk about one topic for hours, all while staying focused on each other, but men prefer to switch topics more often and do not have to look at the other person to stay in the conversation. I agree with the points Tannen makes about how men and women communicate with each other. Tannen explains how much the difference in communication habits affects relationships. She covers each sex’s communication habits when they are with someone of the same sex. Many studies have been conducted about how conversations change when they are between the same gender and the opposite gender, and…show more content…
Tannen gives evidence of how men and women respond differently during conversation: “Linguist Lynette Hirschman found that women make more listening sounds such as ‘mhm,’ ‘uhuh,’ and ‘yeah,’ to show ‘I’m with you.’” Men prefer to give silent attention, which women are not accustomed to and may percieve this silence as the men not listening. Tannen points out that since these habits are so different, it can be frustrating, which I agree with. Both people in the relationship tend to complain about the other person’s habits, and this can ruin the relationship, which Tannen shows examples of. If this difference in habit is not communicated within the relationship, it will never be solved and could possibly lead to divorce. This is easy to understand with the examples Tannen shares and feels very relatable and simple since she breaks it
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