Low Self Confidence

The causes of low self confidence and low self esteem are extremely complex and varied. Many if not all o these roots arise during childhood. This ranges from everything from bullying in school, a shy personality (which unfortunately is discouraged in many western scieities) to parents who may be struggling with their own low self confidence or mental illness. Childhood trauma and abuse are also significant causes of low self esteem and mental illness.

The question that everyone trying to improve their self esteem needs to try to answer is how did you learn about how to understand and express your emotions. Understanding emotion and desire is one of the very first things we learn how to do as children. Were you dismissed or ignored? this

They will either act out in response or learn to dissociate. This means that they will learn to switch their emotions off because they are too dangerous. This is obviously a massive problem for developing self confidence. How can someone begin to believe that they are good and the world is a safe, positive place when they are operating from a state of overwhelm constantly? Children who grow up in these sorts of circumstances come to believe that they are the source of all the chaos in their lives. They believe they are what causes their caregivers to be angry and hurt eachother, that they are the cause of the problems in their parents lives. A common story among those with low self confidence is that there was a constant issue around money in their homes. They grew up believing they were an ‘expense’ before they were someones child. These people carry this sense of being a burden and an unnecessary burden at that for the rest of their lives. This lack of an inherent self worth is the core of many peoples low self

Bullying is also a major feature. Children and teenagers rely on their peers massively for developing their sense of identity, for learning how to interact with others and for developing a whole host of other skills. Children and teens who are bullied at school may face emotions like shame, anger, fear, humiliation and at the far end consequences so severe as depression and suicide. People who were bullied as children need to not underestimate the impact that bullying has had on them. Ultimately, learning self confidence is about owning and honouring ones own experiences – not downplaying them, not saying ‘oh its just how children are’. Your emotions as a child are as important as yours now. Developing self confidence when you have a history of bullying may involve trying to relearn positive social engagement. Many people find volunteering or joining some sort of a team activity a great first step because the focus is less on individual personalities and more on the project at hand. This can take some of the pressure off for those who struggle with social