The Challenges Of Adversity In Being An Only Child

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Adversity does not even begin to cover the full extent of this challenge I have faced my entire life. To grow up knowing you are unwelcomed and undesired, a criminal, and not understanding why, is difficult and something a child should never go through. But I did. I grew up undocumented and was forced to undergo shame at being “other.” The embarrassment and anger I felt at being asked if I had “papers” by a classmate developed into deep depression and anxiety. I have struggled with depression for as long as I can remember. When I look back to my childhood the only think that comes up is crying and taunting.
Being an only child was difficult as there was no one to protect me from the endless comments about my appearance. This coupled with the fact that I am undocumented led me to hate myself, to the extent that I resorted to harming myself and even contemplating not being alive anymore. I developed an unhealthy view of myself and resorted to making myself puke after meals, to appease the taunting engrained in my mind. I coped unhealthily, and instead of reaching out to people, I shut everyone out and never asked for help. I even distanced myself from my parents, and for some years my relationship with my family suffered. I was quiet and always sat alone in a corner reading or listening to music, and no one was ever aware of the fact that I faced an internal battle every day.
Along with the depression came an underlying issue I still struggle with today, and that is anxiety.
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