Politeness Essay

Despite its unassuming nature, politeness can be a controversial topic. Many of us have at different times experienced both the saccharine, cloying indirectness of those who overvalue politeness and the cynical angst of those who seek to consistently flout it. Members of the first group believe that politeness is a moral and social necessity, and they weaken and obfuscate their message to maintain the comfort provided by mutual niceties. In contrast, members of the second group view social pleasantries as a form of lying, and refuse to partake in what they consider societally acceptable deceit. In reality, neither of these two viewpoints completely characterizes politeness, but both provide insight into its nature. Politeness is neither entirely honest nor a form of malicious deceit. In fact, it most closely resembles the kind of half-truth that Frankfurt refers to as “bullshit” in his essay on the topic. Even though politeness possesses many of the characteristics of

Speakers engage in this form of politeness by using hedged language to emphasize the autonomy of the listener. For example, consider a student seeking an extension for the submission deadline for a paper. If the student emails his professor and demands special treatment, he would be harming his professor’s negative face by not acknowledging her freedom to accept or deny this request. In order to offset this unwanted effect, the student might choose to hedge his request by directly expressing a respect for the teacher’s choice and apologizing for any imposition that the extension might cause. Although the student is still fundamentally asking the same question, by including this additional polite language, he communicates the idea that he respects her time and efforts. By emphasizing the autonomy of his professor in this way, the student is engaging in negative