I had two best friends. The gender? A boy and a girl but I was way closer to the boy it was like he was a brother I never had. We did mostly everything together, we knew each other’s family. We had known each other for about a year but that was a lot so we continued to go from there at last we got on to high school but in my sophomore year, It was like I was living a nightmare With great terror, I screamed for help but no one was there it felt as if I was paralyzed in a lone dark room with no sigh of light what so ever.
Fast forward to my senior year, I was very agitated. All of my friends had gone on Kairos, and I was left out of the brotherhood that included metallic crosses and unexpected changes in attitude. Despite getting denied on two previous Kairos trips, I was finally able to attend the January trip. My hopes were high, but I made sure that I did not set the bar too high, for I did not wish to feel let down if it did not equate to this "life-changing" experience. Going into the SAC after 6th period on Tuesday, I had not talked to a single person there beyond the typical "hey how are you" in the hallway.
One of the most common messages was “if you don’t love it then get rid of it or you could live without it”. I did my research for a few days and then one day I just started to go through everything that I owned. If I didn’t love it I got rid of it. I haven’t used it in a long time I got rid of it. I was scared because I thought I would miss everything but I didn’t.
I ended up having to stay with my mother the whole summer. Getting to know new people, surrounding myself with positive people, even was willing to go to a new school to start a new life, a good like with positive vibes. But in the midst of everything I got scared, scared to start my whole life over. Yes, i was only in tenth grade I had two other years left in high school, did I really want to start over? To answer your question, the answer was no.
I wasn’t able to recognize their names. Some kids I couldn’t memorize how to spell their names, but I definitely made a lot more friends. I’m only able to memorize Julie and Kyla ( from a different school). On Wednesday, one of my cabin mates had to move to another cabin because she had no partner. Her partner had left home because they was really homesick.
I moved once before, and that was hard because I had so many friends, I was little then so I didn’t have a phone and neither did they so I haven’t talked to them since sixth grade. It was good when I moved to Maricopa because it allowed me to start over, not be the chubby kid I was in elementary. Instead I was the new kid, mysterious, cool. I started a new book out of the one already in progress, same character, but a new story. I started making friends and gaining confidence and I lost a lot of weight.
The school was a charter school teaching grades 6-12. I had briefly transferred out for my first semester to play football at another school. To make a long story short I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and went from a straight “A” student to a 2.3 gpa. My parents immediately pulled me, made some phone calls and I was right back to my old stomping grounds. It wasn’t a stereotypical “love at first sight” in fact it was a kind of dull interaction.
Conversely, when I transferred schools for my sophomore year, it was as diverse as New York City. Unlike my first school located near the city, this new school was pinpointed right in the middle of the suburbs. I finally felt like I belonged there, yet again I naturally felt lost in a sea of people. Just like my freshman year, everyone in my grade actually knew one another. Instead of ignoring me, my peers knew that I was a newbie in the school, so a lot of them ventured out of their way to get to know me.
I have never lived in a place for more than two years (I have lived in nine different states), and the lack of stability has made developing close friendships impossible. I think that going to college would help me make close friends, which is something I have never gotten to experience. I am also extremely excited to be able to follow a curriculum and courses all the way through. Switching high schools all of the time meant switching curriculum, and having to learn new things at each school that did not build on what I previously had learned. I had to do a lot of catching up each time we moved, and it will be nice to not have to do that anymore.
Any fifth grader would be happy advancing to middle school. But I was an exception to what I just stated. I recently moved from a fantastic house in New York City into a junky little house on the bay of California. Even worse, I lost all of my friends, and was starting fresh off the bat. My first day at school was hard enough.