Reflective Essay: How I Love Changed My Life

Introduction

For many years I suffered with the disease to please and boy did it cost me. I was miserable. Contributing to others dream and making them come true was my life. All the while watching my dreams die by the wayside. My brain was full of ideas that I suppressed just so others could go ahead of me. I longed to be accepted. I needed to be needed. It made me fel like somebody. Crazy right? I chose relationships that I could play the hero in because I thought if I could save someone they would love me return. That was an epic fail. It blew up in my face. The feeling of meagerness plagued my life. My need to be needed stripped me of my dignity. Often, I was left feeling depleted and worthless.
One day I woke up. Enough was enough.

Nice means pleasing, agreeable, satisfying , gratifying, socially acceptable. Kind on the other hand means of a good or benevolent nature or disposition, as a person, gentle, mild, clement.
The root word nice come from and old French word with the same spelling meaning “foolish” . Here you have it. To be nice is to be a push over. The word nice isn’t even in the bible, however kind is. Let’s look at the word nice for a moment. Pleasing, agreeable, satisfying and gratifying. All these words are how you cater to others. Nice is just another way of saying push over.
No one sets out to be a push over or have the “Disease to Please” but for some odd reason many people suffer from it, not really understanding why. Most people who are super nice have an issue with rejection and the need to be accepted so they lower their standards believing they won’t be left out. People believe if they are nice enough that they have something to gain from it (if I do this then I will get that) wherein being kind doesn’t have an ulterior motive. Kindness is just doing good and has no strings attached. Nice be people are constantly looking for validation and approval and often compromise their own happiness just to please