Graduation Speech: A Letter To My Father

Often, our partner isn’t necessarily being terrible in any overt way but we feel a growing sadness about the character of our relationship. The partner isn’t as focused on us as we would hoped. There are often times when they don’t understand us properly. They are often busy and preoccupied. They can be bit off-hand, or abrupt. They are not hugely interested in the details of our day. They call their friends rather than talk with us. We feel disenchanted and let down. Love was supposedto be lovely . But without any one huge thing having gone wrong, it doesn’t feel much that way, day to day. This sorrow has paradoxical source. We are upset now because at some point in past, we were really rather fortunate, We are sad because we have been lucky.

At the best moments of childhood, if things went reasonably well, a loving parent offered us extraordinary satisfaction. They knew when we were hungry or tired. Even though we couldn’t usually explain. We didn’t need to strive. They made us feel completely safe. We were held peacefully. We were entertained, and indulged. And even if we don’t recall all the explicit details about it, the experience of being cherished has made a profound impression on us. Its planted itself in our deep minds as the ideal template of what love should be. As adults without really noticing, we continue to be enthralled to this notion of being loved. Projecting the best experience of our early years into our present relationships. And finding them sorely wanting as a a result. A comparison, that is profoundly corrosive, and unfair. The love we receive from parent can’t be workable model for our later adult experience of love. The reason is fundamental, we were baby then we are adult now. A dichotomy with several key ramifications. For start, our needs were so much simpler. Back then, we needed to be washed and amused, put to bed. But we didn’t need someone to trawl intelligently through the trouble corners of our mind. We didn’t need a caregiver to