Essay On Self Development

Ayesha Khan

Abstract

I recall joining this course in November 2014 not knowing what to expect, it was always about growing in my job never did I initially understand that this was just for me - my own self development, my own self-realization. From the weekly meetings of the therapist to the class that was held every Tuesday. Initially what felt like a rigorous routine later turned into something I looked forward to every week .New faces that turned into friends, tutors whom I trusted and opened up to giving me a sense of self-awareness which I always ‘denied and distorted’. (Mc Leod, 2014) I came to understand that it was not about the people around me it was about me I was willing to change learnt and am still learning

Never did I think about myself. Every Tuesday felt stressful I had so much on my plate and I still do. The assignments would feel like a drag and my need for perfection would always stay with me. It was the first time I got the redo that I felt agitated .I had to ask why I had to make sure I did it right just like my conditions of worth .The need for approval and always doing the right thing. I recall very clearly the time this course really touched me it was my second redo and initially I remember it was a noticeable change inside of me. I initially didn’t know what to do with all that trapped anger. That moment has helped me deal with my emotions that realization when I reread my essay with my tutor I was angry and was in denial at that moment I was distorting my ideas about my mother . The trapped feelings which she had made me conceal as I grew up….stayed with me. How could I say it was her fault? I was never brought up that way. I learned to accept it and face it. I managed to open up to those feelings and accept them and let go .It's about achieving and becoming that fully functioning person that Rogers has described I am learning to be and have started "increasing openness to experience" and "an increasing tendency to live fully in each moment." (Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy, 2012)

Positive regard, empathy, and acceptance

I know it’s a continuous effort where I have to look into my internal state, be conscious and investigate my experiences especially looking into my emotions. I constantly understand what I feel in the present moment, without judging or reflecting issues of the past or what others will think. I know it is important for me as it will improve my self-esteem instead of me thinking what other people will approve. Eventually this self-awareness will allow me to adapt to different circumstances.

Lastly, through my course of life I have learnt some vast things which have shaped me up and changed my beliefs, ideas, thoughts and attitudes which have governed my thinking, my knowing and my living. The things that went right were outstanding. What I learnt is that we can’t make memorable events happen. We can only guide them, point them in the right direction. What happens will happen and enjoying the part of the process is fun.

More than any goal or resolution, I like to focus on “what am I doing to make the coming year