The Transformation Of Kat's Identity In The Awakening

Kat has been living in an imaginary world, and inside the world she does not understand her true self and deceives herself. First, Kat tries to be strong by controlling over people. Kat is a woman who is successful in fashion and she has been sort of controlling the world of fashion, which leads to her satisfaction of being “God”. Kat knows an ordinary man called Gerald, and she changes him into her creation as well. “She made him get rid of those sucky pursed mouth ties, told him what shoes to wear, got him to buy a loose-cut Italian suit, redid his hair.”(33) Since Kat has successfully changed Gerald into Ger, she feels more “God like” because she thinks that she has control of a man, and is able to transform him into any shape she wants,

She is in her imaginary world and happy with her perfect Ger. But at last she is betrayed by Ger and she sees her true self after Ger’s betrayal. “Not Ger, not the one she’s made in her own image”(41) Kat suddenly realizes that she is never wishing Ger, the theoretically perfect man, but instead, a man named Gerald is what she has been truly wishing. It is obvious to see that Kat is a self-important person with gorgeous appearance, and also a weak, normal woman. She always thinks about to manage and control everything and she is also wishing a normal love, a family. Due to her distorted mind, she gets lost in her imaginary world, not able to see the reality and eventually regretting for the mistake she has made. Finally, after all those harrowing experience, Kat turns to the hairball, and she deceives herself that it is a child between Gerald and her. “Her child with Gerald, her thwarted child, not allowed to grow normally.”(43) She relates the thwarted hairball with her experiences. The hairball obviously is not a child, Kat is having an illusion; but the hairball is also a reality that symbolizes the broken relationship between Kat and Ger. She acknowledges the fact and letting her “child” to comfort