Things Fall Apart Reflection

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The one thing I will never forgive the education system for doing is heinously murdering my motivation for learning. How they accomplished this? Publicly executing the one thing that had kept me moving throughout my years at school- reading. Of course, there’s always the internet, and while I am a strong supporter of knowledge online, trying to find that knowledge is like trying to find a needle in a haystack- if that haystack were the size of the globe and the needle were the size of a pea. But the knowledge wasn’t what I was upset about. I was already beginning to come undone at the seams with the idea that creative writing would not be continued throughout my school years, but to hear the one thing I loved to do used against me? It…show more content…
Time that i thought could be used talking to absolutely no one brought absolutely nothing, or maybe perhaps drawing something that would be scrapped a mere 15 minutes after I had begun to draw it. The problem, however, is that I had promised to keep my grades up and improve. That meant that despite my inner desire to never even pick it up, my obligation to my mother was far stronger. What was weird was my enjoyment with it. I remember overhearing someone say “the ending is wild” or “I never could have expected that that would have happened!” and I knew I had to pick it up and read it to find out. I had a drive, because I wanted to know what the fuss was…show more content…
I was enraptured. I wanted to read more, I wanted more information. Doing a project for it didn’t satisfy anything, just left me with even more questions. This book was about Okonkwo’s own toxic pride clashing with itself in the form of white imperialists, the idea of superiority and tradition an ever-present force. What I didn’t realize was that in my years of school, I had become Okonkwo. I wasn’t fighting for land or wealth or reputation, but I was fighting for my own personal freedom. I didn’t like the imperialism of school, asking me to read what I hated for the sole purpose of measurement. My previous downfall had been my pride. I didn’t want to see my independence go, and so I clung onto it, even if that meant that I suffered. Reading wasn’t a distraction or even a true escape away from reality. It was the one thing I could use to exercise my freedom. If the internet was blocked by my parents, I could still hold onto books to show I could think and speak on my own. So when that one link was regulated as well, things began to fall apart. My only recovery from such a cataclysmic event was tenth grade Honors English. I read, and I wanted to read more, and more. My freedom wasn’t restored to me through choice, but through perspective. I read because I knew that if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have the freedom I so
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