Trax Argumentative Essay

1310 Words6 Pages
The script ALTERNATIVES is an original sci-fi, thriller that offers a visionary and cautionary, futuristic world. Strong themes about man vs. machine and survival of the fittest drive the plot. The script explores the moral question about how far to take technology and the consequences of technology. The story offers action, robots, futuristic technology, time travel, betrayal, and a few twists and turns.

While there are strengths to the storytelling, the script would benefit from more development in the areas of structure, pace, clarification, and character development, as well as professional presentation.

The strength is the teaming of Janna and Trax. They share nice chemistry with each other. At the end, the audience is definitely rooting for the both of them. It’s nice too see how they evolve to
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Even in the scene in which he attempts to assassinate his target, the series of events are too vague. For example, on page 44, the scene describes that “he” arrives on the steps to see his “target.” Clarify who “he” is and clarify who the “target” is by using their names.

Thus, craft a stronger structure. By the end of the first act the audience should clearly know what the story is about. They should know that Trax’s mission is to kill the Professor and why. Act two is the promise of the premise in which a plan to achieve that goal is put into place.

Trax should feel that he’s doing the right thing and that it will help the species survive. Then at the midpoint he can learn that everything he has been told is a lie. This is the midpoint reversal.

What does work nicely is that the stakes rise when Janna is held captive and Trax makes a deal to continue the mission if they leave Janna for him. However, what’s not clear is if he’s tricking them to save her, or if he really wants to kill Janna. Consider trying to clarify
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