Growing up, we as kids rely on a great stable family household. We want to feel cared for; having that family team environment helps us handle our problems as an individual outside of our shell/comfort zone or whatever fits. Throughout all endeavors in life, things are continuously changing and affecting us in distinctive ways. However, I trust that the adjustments in lifestyles that have a lasting affect are inside the family. Children look up to the adults – especially being the leaders - of their household as they are being raised for guidance, and advice. For me, the feeling of a family environment was taken away at an early age when my mother and father divorced. I was around 9 years old at the time, and honestly I had no Idea what …show more content…
It was at this age I started to see a slight contrast in how my parents spoke to each other, and treated each other. I would always ask to myself, Why are Mommy and Daddy so angry at each other at this point? Is it something I did? Nothing had even happened yet, and I had just started to take the blame for why things are the way they are now between my parents, I took the strain in the family household as hatred towards me. The battling proceeded and I just felt more regrettable and more hopeless as the year went on. Thinking back, the contentions between my folks were not gigantic issues, but rather just nit-picking and an absence of correspondence. My mom in the end had enough, and filed for a divorce. I knew even at such a youthful age, to the point that she was drained, and sorrowful. She had been the one to invest exertion and attempt to fix up what my parents had before they got married it was too late, however my dad had given up some time before that. The divorce was finalized February 14th of 2002 ; two days after my tenth birthday celebration. I was currently expected to be with my mom each day of the week and going through the ends of the week with my dad. Be that as it may, right on time after the separation I was principally with my mom. She didn't give the separation a chance to stage her. Truth be told, life at home was the same with the exception of the nonappearance of Dad. I realized that my mother had each privilege to cry, to be disturbed, to grieve the loss of what her and my dad had, to look at. Yet, she pulled it together for my brothers and I, staying aware of our general routine of school and exercises, and never let us see her shed a tear. All I felt for her consistently was love and esteem, and I trusted that I could be as solid as her one day. My dad, then again, had looked at. When he returned into
Divorce “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then to do it.” – Ann Landers. This quote by Landers hits close to home for me. Being a child of parents who divorced in my adolescent years, I understand that it took them more courage and strength to separate instead of sticking it out for my siblings and I.
The traditional American family consisted of the father as the breadwinner, the mother that was in charge of raising children and doing domestics, and their biological children, all living together. However, that image has been replaced with a diversity of other images “Family structure in the United States”. The source of weakness is the breakdown of the structure of the family. It is when children leave their parents` house searching for an autonomous life before they are financially and emotionally self-sufficient. After departing parents’ house, children will have a lack of social support which results in an unstable life for the young individual when exposed to life new challenges.
The children learned basic norms and values from the parents. The parents supply the economic needs for the child such as foods and education (ResviseSociology, 2014). In a family, different person performs different role and function such as a mother should take care of her child. The important is the child can feel the love and support from their parents (Gordon, 1997). Family dysfunction may appear in broken families, violent families and divorced families, etc.
Soon it got to the point where my grandparents thought it was best that I went and stayed with them for a while until things got better. At first I did not like living with my grandparents, they were strict and did not let me do as much as my mother would allow me to, but I got used to it and realized it was for the best. My family was Christian so we went to church frequently and for almost every holiday. High school is where things kind of got better for me. I moved back in with my mom and stepdad and had a little brother on the way.
I never thought my parents would get in a divorce. In fact, when I was younger I did not think parents ever got divorced. I was very upset and I felt like the whole thing was my fault. When I started fifth grade, I used to get dismal about the divorce and it started to affect my behavior at home and at times, it would even affect my attitude at school. My mom informed the school counselor and arranged for me to meet with the counselor weekly to express how I was feeling.
If I am not able to help my children, I want them to know that they can go to their other family members and get the help that they need. The systemic family development theory fit into this parenting style. As stated in the book, The family systems approach clarifies that families are systems and it is possible that four generation could be interacting at any given time” (63). My family will be a family system because I will make sure that not only that they are close to our immediate family but to the older generations and the younger generation in the family. According to Brian Moore (2015), “We will all change positions and possibly even careers during our working life, but what never changes is who we are and who our family is”(19).
I thought it was normal for parents to behave cruel to each other and get into physical fights. My father’s constant insolent behavior was something my mother, sister, and I became accustomed to. Little did I know that my childhood
At around nine years of age two significant events occurred. First the announcement by my parents that I would be a big brother soon, not something I was thrilled about. The second event one way worse and more terrifying than a sibling, it was, a move. Yes my parents for one reason or another decided moving to a secluded sub-division fourteen miles away from town would be best for us. I was in absolute awe, how could this be happening?
Children look to their parent’s guidance and development. Parents are the first example and if the family environment is not healthy, the children could be subjected to a lacking strong physical development. “Effective parenting skills are fundamental to child development” (The Chief Public Health Officer 's Report, 2008). Children learn from their environment, if a child’s parent is not in the picture, children will learn from what surrounds them. For example, Genie did not speak because she was never spoken to as a child.
Constantly after the divorce, my mother and I wouldn 't talk for days, weeks, or months depending on her mood. The difference between other mothers and my own led to open doors for me. As she became unreliable, I began to depend on myself to get things done. With my father constantly traveling, I was no longer depending on my mother to fill out school papers, and day to day motherly responsibilities soon became my own. Invariably, I wouldn 't know what to expect from her, either a conversation about how she cares about me or how she believed my father was corrupting me.
When you have to provide for yourself and your siblings all your life and then suddenly you're split up and aren't allowed to know anything about them it's horrific. Then I ran away only to have to provide for myself with no job. I never got to be a kid. Then getting put in juvie,seeing horrible things, being told you're going to turn out like your dad. Basically caused a lot of issues with trust, anger, honesty and letting myself be loved.
In the Asian culture, many families look down upon divorce. My mom, coming from a traditional Burmese family, and my dad, coming from a conservative Singaporean background, found a loophole. Separated but not divorced. This allowed my parents to keep their honor but also prevented them from being stuck in a marriage out of obligation. I was never given “the talk” about why my parents decided to separate, or how my life was about to change drastically.
I knew even at such a young age that she was tired, and heartbroken. I grew into someone who strives to be independent and do the best she possibly can in everything she
Moreover, my parents divorced when I was seven. My mother regarded this event as my biggest life transition so far. She said that even though I was quiet before their separation, I was not being so quiet to the level of scared to talk to people. After their marriage ended, my mother married to my stepfather. Living in a stepfamily will never be easy.
At the age of two, I learned not only how say the word "da-da", but also how to say the word "divorce". Since my childhood, my father would be in and out of my life for months at a time. When my parents had first separated, I did not comprehend the extent of their decision. I still saw my dad regularly and my mom was always there to help me with homework at night, so the separation had caused no noticeable shift in my daily routine. Unlike most children in my same situation, my life was irrefutably peaceful.