Richard Hager
German Urisote
English Love
1/27/2023
Talk is Cheap: Romance Cynicism in “What We talk about When We Talk About Love”
Through Mel’s jaded comments, Raymond Carver’s “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” argues that one can reject Philia after a deeply important relationship comes to close. When Mel remarks that he is "praying [his wife will] get herself stung to death by a swam of fucking bees (153)" Carver highlights how powerful hatred toward someone who we were once bound to can be. A woman Mel knew so well, a woman he loved and had children with has left him bitter, vengeful, even facetiously homicidal. Furthermore, in a drunken anecdote of an elderly couple’s treatment after a grizzly accident, Mark laments, saying, “Can
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I’m telling you, the man’s heart was breaking because he couldn't turn his goddamn head and see his goddamn wife. (151)”. In undermining the emotional pain felt by the elderly man, Carver illustrates the jealousy, dejection, and condemnation Mel and people like him hold for affection. Mel has become estranged from western societies norm of celebrating Philia. Mel struggles to understand why the elderly man is so upset when he asks his friends “Can you imagine?”. This, combined with his demonstrated hatred of his wife, who he used to love, directly strengthens the idea that Mel does not understand or appreciate Philia anymore. Mel yearns for love and rages that his desire is unrequited. Moreover, Mel disparages Philia across the spectrum. The narrator of “What we Talk about” delineates that Mel thought “real love was nothing less than spiritual love. (137)” and Mel himself rejects the idea that mania, arguably the most intense form of Philia, when he declares “I don’t know what you’d call it, but I sure know you wouldn’t call it love. (138)”. That is not to say that mania is a socially acceptable way of conducting oneself. The relationship between Ed, the aggressor and Terri, the victim is
The discovery of a new “communication” technique for the longing “couple” is captured in a very sensual way to show the lengths love can make you go, “With that meal, it seemed they had discovered a new system of communication, in which Tita was the transmitter, Pedro the receiver, and poor Gertrudis the medium, the conducting body through which the singular sexual message was passed”(52). Hyperbole is an exaggeration of speech, describing or saying something you have done, will do, or has happened that is not meant to be taken in a literal sense. Esquivel uses the literary device to describe a sensual moment between her and the person she loves, Pedro, to describe the lengths they have gone to continue a forbidden relationship. Their new way of communication through food is powerful as it shows the lengths they will go to get to each other, but also as it gets you to think about their love and how the desire to partake in something they have not yet experienced with each other is causing them to go through these lengths to experience love. Esquivel uses the scene of a wedding to depict the extreme wanting and longing of love and desire and its effects, “The moment they took their first bite of the cake, everyone was flooded with a great longing”(39).
In conclusion, through the life of the protagonist Dunny, the realization of the different types of love shown by Mrs. Dempster and Mrs. Ramsay becomes evident. Although they similarly have love for Dunny, it appears in two different ways. While Mrs. Ramsay displays a tough love to Dunny, in contrast, Mrs. Dempster gives a carefree and natural love. Their love impacts Dunny both positively and negatively and is significant to the development of his character. The love languages that humans use can be shown in specific ways but in return are received accordingly to that of a specific individual.
Leibowitz achieves this through the use of diction and tone to compel the reader into believing that she knows what she is talking, about and about what is wrong with modern-day dating. Additionally, Leibowitz also uses irony in an attempt to make people realize how sexual intimacy is prioritized in modern-day relationships, rather than more meaningful and long-term aspects. Leibowitz states "In today's largely online world, burnout, opacity, and callousness define dating, reflecting the values of the society that prizes individualism, privacy, and choice in nearly all things.” Using negative words such as opacity and callousness conveys that the author is knowledgeable in this subject and she knows that modern dating lacks many aspects of a good functioning relationship even though it can be convenient. These impactful words also aid in creating a tone that will make the audience ponder about the pros of traditional dating and why it should be implemented more in this society.
In the story, one sees that the narrator deeply loves and admires his wife, even though it seems like he does not seem happy with his marriage. When his wife talks to Robert, he hopes that his wife stays in a relationship with her. The third noticeable negative attribute about the narrator is his
What is love? There are many ways American Literature has portrayed the idea of love, and how it works. Several pieces of American Literature demonstrate the theme of love; this is shown in Fahrenheit 451, by Ray Bradbury, “Annabelle Lee”, by Edgar Allan Poe, and Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck. In Fahrenheit 451, Guy Montag and Mildred Montag, a married couple, represent what love is not about.
Additionally, Fahrenheit 451 and The Giver, are both societies where some friendships and all marriages are based upon compatibility. Guy Montag illustrates, “And he remembered thinking then that if she died, he wouldn’t cry. For it would be the dying face of an unknown…”(Bradbury, 74). Montag proves just how emotionally numb people are in their society; someone dies and no one cares. Unlike the people of Fahrenheit 451, marriages in The Giver are almost like a job where the government observes and
Shakespeare’s Othello, an early 17th century play, is a widely renowned work that is still studied in a psychological aspect worldwide today. The eponym of the play had ambivalent feelings for Desdemona, his wife, that were prevalent in the sense that he’d gone to extreme lengths, such as; abusing her, mistreating her, and ultimately murdering her. This was all due to his inner conflict of his love, yet intense hatred for Desdemona. All of his unsureness about Desdemona, though, was due to his true flaw- insecurity in himself. He had internal feuds about whether he, a black man in 16th century Venice, was a satisfactory husband for a noble white woman.
Gene's profound affection for Finny becomes both a haven of comfort and a breeding ground for internal turmoil, as envy and resentment permeate their relationship. Through this examination, Knowles unveils the profound impact that love can have on life, shaping identities and influencing choices made. Through Gene's admiration for Finny and the homoerotic undertones of their relationship, it’s apparent how love can be both a source of comfort and a source of conflict. By exploring the complexities of love with allegories, Knowles offers a nuanced portrayal of the human experience and the challenges faced as emotions are navigated. Knowles' exploration of love in A Separate Peace offers insights into the human condition.
Know What Relationship Your In In “How to identify Love Knowing What it’s Not” Augusten Burroughs provides a definition of abuse that is more nuanced than physical harm. The formal definition of abuse is the improper usage or treatment of an entity, often to unfairly or improperly gain benefit. There are many different types of abuse and the essay touches base on four different types. Abuse is a spectrum that ranges from controlling, to emotional abuse, to physical abuse.
His son marries, and the narrator and his wife age further, and the transition into old age is complete with the death of the narrator’s father-in-law. Between these events we can see large shifts in attitudes and ideas, as well as health and well-being. These factors provide clear character evolution within the
In this scene, the man recalls the final conversation he had with his wife, the boy’s mother. She expresses her plans to commit suicide, while the man begs her to stay alive. To begin, the woman’s discussion of dreams definitively establishes a mood of despair. In the
The short story “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” by Raymond Carver is about four friends- Laura, Mel, Nick, and Terri, gathering on a table and having a conversation. As they start to drink, the subject abruptly comes to “love.” Then, the main topic of their conversation becomes to find the definition of love, in other word to define what exactly love means. However, at the end, they cannot find out the definition of love even though they talk on the subject for a day long. Raymond Carver in “What We Talk about When We Talk about Love” illustrates the difficulty of defining love by using symbols such as heart, gin, and the sunlight.
Somehow they get onto the topic of love which begins a long discussion of they think love is. Out of the four of them, the narrator 's friend, Mel McGinnis, a cardiologist, is having a discussion with his wife, Terri, about her ex husband. Mel is explaining his opinion on Terri’s past relationship and how what her and her ex had wasn’t love after Terri explains that her ex was extremely abusive and showed his love by dragging terri around on the floor screaming “I love you bitch”. Terri however truly believes that her ex loved her, from this the reader can tell that since Terri was in an abusive relationship that her perception on love might distorted. Even though Terri’s ex abused her, she revealed she still felt sympathy for him when mentioning his attempts at suicide; “He shot himself in the mouth.
Mel being a cardiologist and attending “five years in a seminary” appears to represent the authority figure in the matter of love and can not view love as being anything but “spiritual love.” Despite Terri repetitively trying to convince him that her previous husband’s acts were his “own way of loving her” As time progresses further, however, Mel’s subtle displays begin to turn into signs of hostility towards others, including Terri. While debating on whether he should call his children, for fear that his ex-wife Marjorie will answer, Mel explains his deep desire that she gets “stung to death by a swarm of fucking bees” ( Carver, 153). While doing so he also turns “his fingers into bees and buzzes them at Terri’s throat” (Carver, 153).
When Richard’s heard the news of her husband’s death, he assumed Mrs. Mallard would be devastated. While everyone knew Mrs. Mallard was “afflicted with heart trouble” (57), him and her sister, Josephine, wanted to give her the news with “great care” (57). Josephine broke the news to Mrs. Mallard in “broken sentences”