Reasons Couples Divorce
Couples divorce due to different reasons. For instance, most of the marriage breakdowns come as a result of infidelity. Cheating is a significant driver of divorce. Different research studies have indicated that infidelity is among the most prominent betrayals a marriage can face. Destruction of trust in weak relationships can be the death knell to the relationship. Charlie Simpson states “the number one reason why couples divorce is infidelity issues”. As a marriage counselor for over 10 years Simpson worked with multiple cases where infidelity was one of the main problems. When infidelity comes into play, you must consider the reason behind it. Are you still attracted to your spouse sexually? Are you attracted to your
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Simpson states “Yes, there will be challenges in the first couple of months of divorce. Over the years couples grow accustomed to having the other one there. For instance, if you guys worked together as a team to complete the mission, it will seem impossible to complete that mission without the other team mate, right? The first couple of months of divorce include financial difficulties as one has to rethink his or her spending habits as well as financial situations.” Rather you are helping each other get the children ready for school or splitting the bills down the middle, it will be challenging once you lose that support system. You will be forced to tackle those problems on your own after a divorce. Another challenge is breaking ties with your ex-spouse family. When the family takes sides shutting a person out, it is normal for one to feel betrayed or resentful because your ex-spouse family was also your family at one point (Instone-Brewer, 2002). People undergo different adjustments during separation before divorce. The first and major adjustment is developing a sense of self as well as being single. When one was married, he or she used to be part of a team; however, after the divorce one may feel lost and may not be aware of whom they are (Horváth-Szabó et al., 2015). This means that one must adjust to find his or her way of feeling comfortable with being single again. Secondly, after divorce, one should …show more content…
Divorce affects children in different ways. It is always stressful for children to deal with divorce as most of them do not want their parents to be apart. This explains why most of the children have a hard time dealing with divorce with a good number of them being depressed. Additionally, divorce increases the risk that children will suffer from behavioral as well as psychological problems (Cherlin, 2009). When children are troubled, there are high chances that they will develop problems with disobedience, anger as well as rule violation. Moreover, it has been proven that most of the resilient children report ongoing worries as well as painful memories concerning divorce or the relationship with their parent. Simpson added “Following a divorce, it is also important that you pay close attention to your child, if you see any signs of depression, anger, or other signs, these are usually a cry out for help, and the child should seek immediate counseling to cope with the divorce as well.” Another good solution to help your child would be to read “Helping Children Survive Divorce” by Archibald Hart. This book will help guide you on ways to help your child cope with psychological damage that comes when parents’
Divorce “Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then to do it.” – Ann Landers. This quote by Landers hits close to home for me. Being a child of parents who divorced in my adolescent years, I understand that it took them more courage and strength to separate instead of sticking it out for my siblings and I.
Albeit numerous individuals expect that betrayal is the main source of separation, actually deceiving is normally only a side effect that the marriage was coming up short much sooner than considerations strayed. There are numerous basic reasons why relational unions fall flat. Some are more evident than others. Monetary Incongruently - While an absence of cash for the most part makes a distressing circumstance for wedded couples, what truly divides them is the point at which one life partner is a prodigal and the other is a saver. Alternate extremes may draw in, yet not with regards to dealing with the conjugal funds.
“In America, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That 's nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year” (Family Law). After a separation, a family doesn’t simply cease to continue as they once were. A successful Family will last for a lifetime, and is not always determined by a marriage license or divorce papers. Many families have lasted through divorces and have been able to keep their core beliefs and values intact.
However, the parent’s respective happiness should not be the sole basis for the decision to dissolve the union (Berger). Of all parties involved in a divorce, children have fared the worst. Jennifer Tyree, who received her B.S from the University of Tennessee and her J.D. from The American University, believes the innocence of childhood evaporates the day the parents announce divorce (Tyree). Step-families, a decline in income, a stressed single parent, or a family move are all dramatic adjustments for children.
In the book The Glass Castle Jeannette Walls goes through many hardships throughout her life. She grows up very poor and has to fight for food most of her life in order to keep herself and her siblings alive. She is a very smart girl and is able to overcome many hardships that happen in her childhood. One thing that I believe really stands out to people is her attitude. She remains fine in many situations sort of like the time when her father steals her money she made out of the piggy bank.
Inside a marriage a man and a woman may experience personal troubles, but when the divorce rate during the first four years of marriage is 250 out of every 1,000 attempts, this is an indication of a structural issue having to do with the, institutions of marriage and the family and other institutions that bear upon them (p. 9). According to society marriage is supposed to be forever. Society urges married couples to stay together and work things out, but when the marriage falls apart the blame falls on the individuals within the marriage who failed to keep each other happy. Divorce weakens the family structure as well as the belief in the need for marriage.
Studies also show that children who have gone through divorce are more likely to get lower grades and are considered less pleasant to be around by their peers and teens who live in a single parent or blended home are three times more likely to need psychological help within a year. These choices are already made for the children and they have
One reason is that women can’t stand the consistently unacceptable behavior of men and this is seen throughout most marriages/relationships. Divorce mediator and coach Dori Schwartz says, “Today’s modern woman is more unlikely to put up with infidelity. Once the honeymoon period is over, some men drastically change their behavior from romantic to controlling and emotionally abusive. Unfortunately, this happens in many marriages, and women don’t want to take it anymore.” This is
Children associated specifically with parental divorce have been seen with an increase in anxiety and depression. According to research this anxiety and depression is due to the divorce event specifically, rather than every day family strain; “immediately after divorce, children in divorced families exhibit more problems in adjustment
In Conclusion, marriage is a great process which can build great relationship that is full of happiness and love. Because of men’s thinking control over women, marriage processes cannot be successful all the time. Most of the time, men’s actions lead to the divorce. After the divorce, the people who are blamed are women. Most of the time, men are shown that they are innocent, and women are the guilty people.
I was embarrassed about the divorce and I did not talk about it with any of my friends. I started to lose some of the close bonds I had with my
Infidelity can break up a home and the ending results can be divorce. When there are children involved, it might be challenging for the children to know what’s going on. In the Article "Children in Divorce: Intervention in the Phase of Separation,” Andre Derdeyn states that: As a result of rivalry or past friction with the departing parent, the child may feel responsible for the disruption of the marriage and for driving that parent away, while at the same time being angry at that parent for leaving. Because of anger and his wishes to be rid of the noncustodial parent, the child may feel guilty and may fear retaliation from that parent.
With divorce comes many negative reactions and coping mechanisms. Famous psychologist John Bowbly, who introduced the Theory of Attachment between parental figures and children when born, attributed two main emotions that come as a package when divorce is present: anger and hostility. Negative emotions are directly linked to how the adults in the situation handle the divorce. It is stated that if parental figures show anger and hostility before, after, and even during the divorce, the children involved will learn from their behavior and replicate it as a “normal model”. This is what Bandura called “The Social Learning Theory”.
As well as the effect of the divorce, the child can have a psychological problem. In this case, divorce of parents can lead to signs of distress because of hurt feelings or loss of support from parents. A child may stop eating or have a hard time sleeping. A child may become more emotional. Some children are constantly worrying while others are angry or sad.
Causes : Lack of communication, Treason, Lack of trust, Feeling constrained, Insecurity, jealousy , Differences of standards and age , Finances and unemployment of husband . Dimensions: Effects on children : Depression , child displacement