It may come a time where you will not contact your best friend everyday. You will make other bonds with other people in life. You cannot hang with the same people like you use to. It is okay for you to connect with them and still be friends but you always have to remember to let go because a lot of we are taking different paths in
Again, the time people take to heal differs from person to person for various reasons. While others take a shorter period to recover from the devastation of loss, others take ages. Some get stuck at one stage of the mourning process and are not able to move forward. They may be very angry, depressed and may destroy important relationships. Such people may need professional help to come to terms with their losses and learn to live without the person who has died.
Some group members shared that they had gotten closure to their lost. The group members were asked based on the sessions if they felt that they would be able to help others. Some said ‘yes’ to an extent because they have a better understanding of what is grief/loss and how to cope. They now begin to see that ‘although loss is difficult they are not helpless and their situation is not necessarily hopeless (Ellis, 1997, 19986; Watzlawick, 1993). Others needed more time especially the one that was absent the week before and was given an opportunity to walk us through his experience.
One of the most painful, hurtful, disappointing, and levels of betrayal I experienced was in my last relationship. I choose to leave what happened behind me because I want to be able to move on and leave those negative feelings behind as a way to free myself . Negative feelings have done nothing but set me back and has not justified what happened. My ex, was the most blindingly effortless, patient, and calm person. The start of our relationship was one of the most natural instances of two people meeting and instantly being drawn to each other, and unable to stay apart.
To love someone is my choice, and it is up to me on who I choose to love. To unlove him is not as easy as loving him, but for once in my life I have to think for myself and my reputation. And that’s why I chose to unlove someone whom I used to love so much for myself to be free of the toxicity of what myself have gotten to. And of thinking that letting go is the hardest decision that I will make. I came to a realization that letting him go is not the end, letting him go is the beginning of the new chapter of my life,
“I pondered , weak and weary.” (5) The man is week from probably not eating and losing a lot of sleep. For some people who go through such a great lost as something like this many can relate to it. He may feel like he can no longer go on without his beloved wife. Having to deal with such a great lost can take a lot out someone. Some people may say that you can not physically change when going through a lost of a love one but ,you clearly can.
There are many different emotions, actions, and expressions associated with grieving, which helps the person come to terms with their loss. Not everyone has the same reaction to grief because every loss is different (American Cancer Society, 2014). The personal experience of dying or losing a loved one can be very difficult, especially if the death is unexpected compared to a person who has been ill for a long time (Kazanowski, 2014). Grieving includes the whole emotional process of coping with a loss and it can last a long time for some people. Grieving allows people to let the person close to them go so they can keep living in a healthy way (American Cancer Society, 2014).
The more someone means to us, the more afraid we are of losing that person. When we fall in love, we not only face the fear of losing our partner, but we become more aware of our mortality. Our life now holds more value and meaning, so the thought of losing it becomes more frightening. In an attempt to cover over this fear, we may focus on more superficial concerns, pick fights with our partner or, in extreme cases, completely give up the relationship. 3.
LOSS, GRIEF AND HEALING As human beings, we suffer losses of many kinds and sizes in our life time. While some of these losses are small and do not hurt much, some are big and hurt deeply. Those that are accompanied by pains that are difficult to bear include the loss of a loved one through death or divorce, cheating or unfaithfulness in a trusted relationship or loss of good health when a diagnosis of a terminal illness is made. In all these instances of loss, pain and grief are experienced and an emotional wound is created which needs healing. To be able to know how to deal with the losses that are discussed in the following chapters, it is important to have a clearer understanding of loss and grief and how to cope with grief following