Friends In Chaim Potok's The Chosen

Friends are the family one chooses for himself. In many cases, close friends are involved or interested in the same types of activities. Though often heralded as the maker of friendships, these shared activities often are not. Similar interest may bring people together, but what makes friends stay together is a sense of belonging and support. Most people find friends who can provide for them something that they do not receive from their families. In Chaim Potok’s novel The Chosen, Danny Saunders became friends with Reuven Malter so he could talk to someone. Danny’s home life was composed of silence. His father only spoke to him in worship services and through Talmud study. David Malter explained to Reuven, “[t]here is literally no one in the world [Danny] can talk to… he has… sensed in you someone he can talk to without fear” (106). Not only did Danny need someone to talk to, but he also needed an outlet that was not Hasid. One of Danny’s greatest struggles was with himself regarding what he was supposed to

“We become best friends with people who boost our self-esteem” (Karbo). For many, it is important enough to keep their social identity in a group, that they will put themselves at risk. Karbo found that those addicted to drugs were more likely to overcome that if they felt it clashed with their social identity. She noted, “our social identities are so important to us that we're willing to court disaster to preserve them. We stick with people who support our social identity and withdraw from those who don't. We may even switch friends when the original ones don't support our current view of ourselves”. Parents or siblings cannot often give support of this social identity, especially in the teenage years. Teenagers look for an outlet in their friends. They claim that the parents ‘don’t get it’ when it comes to social issues. Thus, at that age friends will influence a teen more than the parents