Personal Narrative: The Dual-Process Model

Death was something I always knew about, and watched it impact people around me, but had never personally experienced. I learned about death at a young age due to the fact that my mom’s father died when she was young. It was only natural that I would inquire about my other grandfather at some point, but it was never hidden. I don’t think I ever was told a formal definition of death, I think it was always a concept I just grasped. Coming from New York City, I experienced death in a grand way in 2001 with the 9/11 terrorist attacks, but even then, while I was sad alongside my city, I was too young to fully empathize with what had happened. Loss is something I have never dealt with well; it has always been something that hits me hard and takes

I think what was most comforting was understanding that my varied reactions to death were normal. There are times when I just want to cry thinking about those I’ve lost and there are times I just want to sit with their memory and enjoy the time I had. This model suggests that those who are bereaved sometimes confront their loss or sometimes ignore or avoid the pain of their grief. I’ve always thought that people always responded the same way to death and that by having varied emotions I was different. It was helpful to see that the alternation of these to modes of coping assist in optimal adjustment and acceptance. I think the way that the book describes this model is very helpful to understand that having mixed emotions and responses to death whether it be a different death or even the loss of one person, is completely normal and even healthy. I think what should be added to this model is the idea that however you respond you are responding in way best for you. That you should not reject or question your responses because your body and mind know what they need to