Temley Smith Monologue

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Hell isn’t all they crack it up to be, honestly.

In the stories, it’s all fire, hopeless souls hopelessly screaming, endless pain. I mean, yeah, there’s fire. Lots of it. And there’s tons of screaming too, probably because of the fire. And where there’s fire and screaming, there’s endless pain.

So maybe hell is all they crack it up to be.

Hell sucks ass, to be completely honest. Even demons don’t love the overwhelming heat, which is why we all live in Canada! I’m just kidding, we don’t all live in Canada. However, most of us do live on Earth, kidnapping your children and pillaging your women! Once again, I’m kidding. I most definitely do not kidnap children. The women, however? I don’t have to pillage them; they absolutely love me. …show more content…

I guess that even 300 hundred years won’t teach you manners.

I’m Temperance Bradley, more commonly known as Temley Smith. Unless you’re a demon, which I’m almost 100 % sure you are not, you probably haven’t heard of me.

When I meet humans such as yourself, they usually ask for a “life story”. So, I guess you’re expecting me to give you a long drawn out explanation of how I became a demon. Here’s the abridged version. I was a terrible asshole when I was alive and when I died, I went to hell. My “brothers” and “sisters” tortured me, eventually forcing me to agree to become one of them.

There you go.

The story behind my transition isn’t the important part,

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