During class and while taking tests, I was thinking about football and why everything had gone terribly wrong suddenly. The last thing I wanted was for my grades to suffer. At this time, I had to decide, whether I wanted to take the easy route and drop the sport I had loved my whole life, or push forward and prove that I could be the player I knew I could be. I went with the latter of the two. I worked harder than ever that offseason and proved myself during camp that I could be the starter and if needed, coach could run the ball behind me at will.
People always ask why I don’t stop and rest. What’s the point of going up so fast? Well first of all, I know it isn’t just about competition. If I was out there by myself, I would try and beat my old time to the top, and push myself just as hard. The real goal of the hike is twofold; to not only do the best that you can, but to push your brothers to do the best they can.
I never really took school seriously, I never even dreamt of being a college student, I wasn’t motivated. That was until, I saw that my parents were struggling financially and then filed for a divorce. Every time things got hard, both my mom and dad would tell me to “Focus, take school serious so that you can be successful and help us in the future”. Those words were my call to adventure. That was my motivation, that made me graduate high school and enroll myself at College of Saint Elizabeth.
I felt the void inside me magnify and I became more dependent on games to feel at ease. I didn 't care about my early years of high school; My grades were poor and my mind was too focused on trying to forget the struggles of life. After sophomore year of high school, I began to think and acknowledge all of the issues I’ve experienced throughout my life. I thought to myself that I could never achieve true happiness if I continued to run away and hide from the reality of
I realized when I entered college how quickly these three effects took a detriment on my performance. I feel as if these distractions put me in a position to not perform to the best of my abilities. The cost of education is certainly effecting the way I spend, conserve, and think about as far as my choice of school. In the article "The Three Biggest College Campuses Problems," show that the cost of education was the top problem for students at a percentage of sixty-three percent. Since I have started school this semester I have constantly had financial issues.
It is through this knowledge that I have learned to overcome discrimination and the uncertainty of living in the shadows. I experience rejection and discrimination throughout the formative years when my character was being built, but that allowed me to become the person I am today. No more than a year ago, I thought all my hard work was in vain. My visa was about to expire and immigration denied me a renewal of my student visa due to my family’s low income level. Without any legal documentation stating I could be in this country, I was afraid I would not be able to continue my education or obtain a job in my desired field.
I feel vulnerable because someone could potentially say something that may hurt my feelings. I’ve been criticized my entire life, so if someone says something that is negative it lowers my self-esteem in a sense. I try extremely hard to do things that will make a difference in this world and it feels like I won’t ever improve or become better at anything. When someone constantly tells me that I’m not exceling in a certain area, whether it’s at home, college, or work I usually get depressed and feel like I’m a failure. I am putting my self-esteem at risk each time I give someone the opportunity to provide constructive criticism.
I couldn’t accept my failure like him. I always wanted to excel in every exam that I take in my school and had positive attitudes to sit my next exams. Until, the end of last year when I made “one” silly mistake that changed my final exam result. My emotions started to jumble inside my head. Anger, regret and disappointment.