As I was reading Out of the Dust, I found myself relating to the story. Billie Jo was desperate to get out of her small town, just like I was when I was growing up. I grew up in a small town just like Billie Jo and I wanted to escape from it. When I graduated from high school I was highly anticipating college. Although I would only be moving about 2 hours away, I was so excited for this new adventure because in my mind anywhere was better than Aberdeen, Idaho.
This past week I flew to Texas with my Mom so we could attend my Grammy’s funeral. It was a very difficult week but once I got down there my friend from kindergarten picked me up so I could get out of the house for a while. Even though I told him I was doing okay, he knew that I was really struggling. I was in such a better mood after spending some time with him that I couldn’t stop thanking him for understanding what I needed. Even though it was hard for me to know that my Grammy had passed away, someone told me that I needed to be excited for her.
She was okay with it but she told me that I was coming back at the end of the summer. I told her that was fine and I started to pack my stuff for the last day of school. I learned with me being at my dads my mom wanted to be home even more. When my mom said I could move back I didn’t start packing right away because school wasn’t over for two or three. The next two weeks passed and I had packed little stuff.
She watched her mother die slowly and she watched her dad struggle to take care of her. As a young kid or even as an adult watching the person who is supposed to raise you and teach about love, and everything you need to know in life will greatly affect what type of person you turn into. One of the most heartbreaking things you can go through as a child is watching your mother slowly die and then watching your father struggle to take care of her and provide for the family. Ida went through a lot, her mom was sick and then her mom’s sister Clara came to help out and caused a lot of drama in the family. All the fighting put a lot of stress on young Ida, “Mama charged Clara with sneaking into the house like an enemy, charger that she had always covered papa, berated her for taking advantage of illness to have her way” (283).
After days of feeling stomachache and unable to even sleep at night, I missed two morning classes today because I was exhausted from the pain. I went to see a doctor and it turned out the medication they prescribed me before, was too much for my stomach. I have to live with bread and biscuits for a while.
These diseases include Tuberculosis, smallpox and pneumonia. Medicine was not as advanced as it is today so every disease was a lot harder to defeat. Procedures such as childbirth and pregnancy are seen as simple procedures now but used to be a plausible cause of death. Disease was persistent in Dickinson’s family with her mother fighting multiple diseases for the last couple decades of her life. Dickinson spent most of her time staying at home and she took care of her often ill mother.
She would ask me, “Do you want to come to the hospital with me?” I would say, “no” because I was so sad to see her like that. In late November, early December, she started to get very sick. The cancer started to attack her bones and lungs. On December 15, 2012, my aunt, Antoinette M. Hurst passed away in a hospice. When we heard the news, my mother broke down crying because that was her best friend.
We all felt the loss of her warmth and presence keenly, but none more than my mother, who suffered through an intense period of depression in the months following. This was my first experience with death, and I can clearly remember the sadness and confusion I felt during and after my grandmother’s funeral. Trying to come to grips with losing my grandmother was difficult enough, but I found myself having to take on the responsibilities my mother’s depression had rendered her unable to do. Though my mother eventually recovered, I had no idea at the time that watching her struggling with depression would be an augury for my own personal battles with
“Your grandmother has cancer.”, said the Nurse. I felt like the world paused for that second. My grandmother and I are very close. When my parents went out to work, she would always take care of my brother and I. She would help us do our laundry, dishes, and cook for us.
It was difficult watching my mother’s symptoms worsen over the years; her neural damage, her brain lesions, and her memory loss with still no answers. About a year ago, they affected her daily life to point where she wasn’t herself. My mother being a keystone in our house, there were many things our family had to adjust to make up for her incapabilities. I would usually take more time out of my schedule to do laundry, take care of the our dogs, prepare dinners for my siblings and other chores around the house. It was a more of a workload, but it was manageable.