Bowlby's Becoming Attached

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Becoming Attached
What is your "take-away" message of this text regarding attachment?
After reading Becoming Attached, I gained a deeper understanding of how important healthy attachments are early in life. As a future school counselor, I can see more of how important attachments are and knowing who a child has formed a secure attachment too or even if they have a healthy attachment to someone. A chapter that stood out to me was Chapter 4. This chapter discussed one of Bowlby's papers on thieving children. The purpose of the paper was to unveil why some children misbehave. Through his paper, he made a connection between an affectionless children and separation between a mother and child. Of course, my mind immediately had the question of "What …show more content…

Belsky believed that by looking in to the developmental history, personality, marital relations and work of a parent can influence the parenting style, along with the child's developmental stage and characteristic. When looking at the model and the book they generally go hand in hand. The book talks about how forming a secure attachment effects how a person will act when they are older. If you look back into the developmental history of a parent, you can see how they were raised and how it influenced them in their childhood and adult lives. Of course, if a parent had a poor connection or attachment to their parent, it does not necessarily mean they will parent the same way. The book encourages that they deal with their problems and wounds to improve their relationships with other. By dealing with the wounds, if can help for a secure attachment with their child, but if the parent doesn't work through their problems, it can cause the same avoidant or unsecure attachment as they …show more content…

It is interesting to read and think about how the relationships we form when we are very young affects us. Becoming Attached is an awesome resource to have when you are looking for support on the importance of attachment. Belsky's model when drawn out and understood fits into attachment styles in both the parents and children's lives. I think with today's fast-moving society, the importance of attachment is weakening or unknown to others. Like the ending of the book says, we place more attention on achievement and power in children today that it causes a hindrance on secure attachments and also has changed parenting styles. I do agree with Karen's call for more research on attachment. It would be interesting read more about attachments in today's society and how it has changed, although, it is apparent when you look into the lives of some families especially if you work in the education

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