Examples Of Intrapersonal Dilemmas

Theme 1: Intrapersonal Dilemma

All four participants faced intrapersonal dilemma before coming out. According to Read, intrapersonal dilemmas occur when the individual is forced to choose between things that can be good for them now and bad in the future or bad for them now, but good in the future (2001). Some genuinely feared expulsion from groups and bullying by peers. Participant 02, a college undergrad who identifies themselves as 女性寄り or female-leaning X-gender (attracted more to women) and lives separately from their parents seriously contemplated on the necessity of coming out and whether it’s even worth doing. Interviewer: (Asking about why they felt nervous while writing the letter) So, were you conflicted in anyway? Like, whether

After serious consideration, the decision was taken from 002 by the pressure of inevitable discovery of their sexual identity. 002’s father had asserted his intention to watch them perform for a school play. 002 is a member of the LGBTQ society which in that school’s case, equates to being a member of sexual minorities. Their society’s scheduled performance about LGBTQ was also co-written by 002 and therefore, she could not simply deny her involvement or use the excuse of just helping a friend. As a result, they were placed into a situation where they could either say nothing and wait for it to be discovered or say something now and warn/ discuss prior to the play. They sent a coming out letter to their parents which detailed how they feel and what they understand so far about their sexual orientation and identity. Even though the mother was the only one who read the letter, their coming out attempt was a

Like by disclosing [my sexual orientation and identity], our relationships will change. There is always that anxiety. (002, Bisexual) She said that before coming out to someone, she always has that anxiety or fear that the other will not respond positively to her disclosure. But in the end, she comes out to these people because it’s her personal goal to come out to her closest friends. She said that she didn’t want to hide her SO and SI and wants to share her good news, that she currently has a girlfriend.

Participant 001 is like 002 and she currently discloses her SI and SO to those who she considers are part of her intimate circle. She also judges whether that person will change the way they interact with her after, which guides her coming out decision-making. 001 is a bisexual who currently lives separately from her parents but lives with her grandmother. Last but not the least, 004, who is a salary man by day and graduate school student by night is a gay who is attracted to 男性より X-gender (more attracted to men). He currently lives independently from his parents but is sharing a place with a coworker. His main dilemma when coming out is whether it’s necessary. This part will be explored is later