All The Mexican's Fault: A Short Story

It’s All the Mexican’s Fault I rap on the door three times and hear the odious voice of my boss, Donald Trump answer, “Who is it?” I respond from the shelter I possess behind the door, “Karen Adelmann, sir.” He then utters, “Oh you, well come on in then.” I open the oval office door to see a revolting smile on his repugnant face. “Well isn’t it my favorite Jew. How are you today Karen? Have any good news for me?” It bothers me how he said “good” while staring at my chest. The old pervert. However I say, “Not exactly, Mr. President. I have a couple of concerns from members of our government board.” “Concerns you say? Like what?” he interrogates. I reply, “Well, this one comes from David Chancey and his staff. He’s wondering how you are planning

Chancey is a Muppet. He’s always singing about how my economy is such a failure, but his lyrics are meaningless. I don’t have to fix a thing. It’s not my fault that the New York Stock Exchange lost half of the money previously invested in it.” “Then who’s to blame?” I ask him already knowing what his answer is going to be. “China,” he answers with abhorrence. I was right. However, I still ask with exasperation, “How necessarily is it China’s

President.” “I’m glad that you came to your senses. What else?” “Well sir, Mexican citizens have knocked down your wall, again.” “What? Again? But this was my greatest wall. It was really great and made out of…” “Popsicle sticks?” Trump looks at me as if I’d just committed the federal crime of being a Mexican. “No, of course not. Females can be so narrow-minded. It was made out of great popsicle sticks! That wall cost me billions of dollars to build. How’d they manage to knock it down?” “Well sir, that isn’t the problem. How are you going to pay for the damages caused?” “I’m going to take away all of the Mexican’s drugs and sell them in America, of course.” “But sir,” I was appalled by his response, “that is illegal!” “No it isn’t; we do it already. I mean what do you think Takis, Doritos, and Lucas are? They’re drugs disguised as snacks! Americans love that crap. It’s the perfect method toward earning our money back for building an even greater Great Wall. However, this time the Great Wall will reach its maximum level of greatness from great