My Daughter’s Birth
I have always been amazed at how life has unexpected moments. I can remember as if it was just yesterday, how scared I was of being 16 years old and pregnant. I never really wanted kids, especially at a very young age. I hate to say it, but I considered an abortion. Unfortunately, I couldn’t go through with it because I was too far along and financially I was unable to do it.
Feeling depressed and unhappy, I had a rough time. I didn’t want to accept the fact that this baby was coming. I wasn’t ready to give up my life for someone else. The reasonability of this whole matter overwhelmed me. I truly was totally unprepared to be a mom. I found pregnancy to be an ugly event and I felt bad. I didn’t do the things happy
“Okay.” You huffed and puffed as this belly of yours was troublesome. You couldn’t wait for this little monster inside of you to pop out. You had enough carrying this weight, receiving achiness all over your body. You declare to yourself that you weren’t going to carry anymore babies if this was terrible.
The moment she gave birth something sunk into her mind, that she could never fully comprehend until that moment. As she holds her child in her arms, taking extra precautions, so that her child doesn’t get hurt, she realizes that it is now her job to take care of her baby. That her biggest concern is no longer herself, but the child who was not in her arms yesterday. That yesterday’s problems are no longer of concern to her. That it is her job to provide and raise a human being.
On January 1,2011 the tornado sirens are blaring. Storm is going back and forth like a rollercoaster. The smell of wood flying through the air. Seeing my moms head almost getting taken of by a walmart roof, it was as scary as a horror movie that almost came to life. Getting home my mom comes down stairs after the storm passes and said “I’m pregnant” all of us where in shock because we thought she was joking.
The doctor and nurses started getting everything set up for the delivery of my baby girl. I was scared and in pain, I couldn 't stop crying because I was feeling everything! I was checked again and I was at 10 CM! Which meant it was time to have my first baby girl X mission point everyone was so excited! Me, not so much.
Coming of Age “Have a good time. remember to take food out of the bottom oven, bye” my mom said. Those were the last words she said before going off into the city with my dad that night. They had left Jack, Grace, and I with our grandparents for the night.
Physically feeling great but mentally still processing what I had just done to my own child. In walks my female doctor, who I had been going to for 3+ years. She reads my chart and realizes why I’m there, she tells me, we need to get you on some other type of birth control other than this method. It took me a minute to process what she had just said to me. Judging me for a decision I made for my best physical, mental, family and financial situation.
For most of my life, I felt like a stranger to everyone around me, including my family. It shouldn’t have been shocking; I was adopted. I cannot pinpoint the exact moment I knew that, because in a way I always knew. I am an Asian-American from South Korea, and I was brought into this country on August 4th, 1999. My adoptive parents refer to this day as my “Gotcha Day.”
With tears in my eyes I kept questioning god why this had to be happening to me. The doctors explained to me that my baby got sick from being in my stomach so long after my water broke. I did not want to be away from her, every morning my trips to the NICU were the hardest. Seeing her with tubes, and all the stuff made me upset. But holding her was the most amazing feeling in the world.
Lisa had written the article I Survived Postpartum Depression, But It Never Left Me, discussing her first hand experience with postpartum depression, how it still affects her years later, and the importance of understanding that it may not leave. After her son’s birth, instead of joy, she felt something she had never felt before. For almost two years after her son was born, Romeo had the horrible feeling that she was living to survive and nothing more (Romeo). Lisa says, “ I was supposedly no longer fighting off postpartum depression that matters. What came next—what, even now that my sons are 21 and 17, persists—are days and nights and long worrisome moments of everyday life” (Romeo).
after giving birth to my son in 2011 I have been struggling with being overweight and just all around unhealthy. I 've gained in between 65-70 pounds durin my pregnancy of course it was from overindulging and not eating healthy. unfortunately, lack of the right nutrition/exercise it all caught up with me when I had my son. He was diagnosed with a heart defect and numerous of other major/minor things. he had to have opened heart surgery at two days old and another followed shortly after, plus all of the other things that were wrong as well.
My life was complete the day my first child, Luke, was born. His delivery went smooth, and I did not need an epidural. He was cleaned off by respectful nurses and given to me. I decided on breast feeding my child because the benefits extend well beyond basic nutrition. I had baby monitors everywhere, even in closets.
Giving birth to a child is one of the jubilant privilege gifted to a woman. The feeling of having a life grow within you, is beyond any comparison. The decision to become pregnant can be monotonous or planned. But, the emotional aspect of nurturing a life within you and then with you, is the actual feeling of motherhood.
I can still remember like it was yesterday the day my son was born. The feelings leading up to the day he was born were the most nerve racking days of my life. On August 27th 2015 me and my wife sat at home expecting the our son any moment. My mother was also with us and was there to help us after the baby was born. As the day went by the house filed with boredom and the feeling of nervousness, and outside being gray and rainy I knew that it wasn 't a beach day.
Then 9 months later on February 16, 1999, at 3:10 am my precious son came out of my womb and placed on my chest. It was the most amazing experience ever, but also extremely exhausting thing ever! I was in the hospital for about another week till the doctor told me to go home, funny thing is that I got discharged on my birthday February 21, 1999, which I turned 16. At first, it felt like being a mother was easy, but in reality, it wasn 't because I also had to go to school plus he would always wake me up in the middle of the night, and be in an extreme of exhaustion. I started missing school more and more till I finally dropped out.
New born babies I might have said that I didn’t like kids, but that didn’t go for new born babies. I actually love them they are so small and precious and they are easy to handle. My liking for them is the reason why I want the career I choose when I grow up which is a neonatal nurse. I know being a neonatal nurse deal with more than just babies, but it close so that what I’m going for. Babies to me are really easy to watch, I really don’t care too much about waking up at midnight or any time of the night because I kind of do that now.